The Rub a Dub Dub Series


The Butcher

She thought it was pork. She was wrong.

The first time hapless food inspector Emily Underwood meets butcher Frank Pinch, he’s not got much at all in his display counters. But what he does have is a rather unusual plan to restock his shelves.

The next time they bump into each other, he’s won an award for his sausages but is running out of meat.

Can Frank keep up production of his unusually tasty sausages? Will Emily discover the source of Frank’s award-winning meat? And what will happen the next time she tries to inspect his butcher’s shop?

Book One in the Rub-a-Dub-Dub series, this deliciously British dark comedy will change the way you look at sausages forever.

The Kindle Unlimited graphic,
Available on Kindle Unlimited

The Baker

They thought it was organic bread. It wasn’t.

Food Standards Agency’s most unfortunate inspector, Emily Underwood, is finally doing okay at work. Apart from finding the odd dead customer in a kebab shop that is.

When she has an expected brush with a Bishop, things start to go downhill fast.

Rupert Graves is the leader of the smallest cult in East Anglia. Although his motley crew of militant vegetarians are primarily focused on sex and drugs, they’re also determined to highlight the suffering of animals — by fair means or fowl. They’re just not very good at it.

Amateur baker Hannah’s attempts to fund her boyfriend’s cult by selling her produce start off well, and her artisan bread rolls made from organic flour are soon in demand. The only problem is that Hannah’s kitchen in Hill Top Farm will need to pass a Food Standards Agency inspection or be closed down.

What will happen when Emily returns to Hill Top Farm? Will Hannah’s kitchen pass the food inspection? Or can Emily discover what’s really in the flour?

The sequel to The Butcher, and Book 2 in the British Rub-a-Dub-Dub trilogy, this dark comedy about flour power will make you think twice about having a bacon sandwich ever again.

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Available on Kindle Unlimited

The Candlestick Maker

Fitness Instructor? Or fatness instructor?

Jack Kennedy is a fitness instructor with a difference. He’s got an unhealthy obsession with other people’s weight, and not in a good way. He also makes candlesticks.

Inept Food inspector, Emily Underwood, is still having her ups and downs – both at work and at home. Emily’s relationship with her mostly harmless boyfriend, Andy, is on rocky ground. Then her flat mate, Catherine, loses her job over an unexpected live stream of the new boardroom table being christened. Things start to go rapidly downhill for the intrepid trio, but when Catherine meets a nice young man at her local gym, they go from bad to worse.

Can Emily uncover Jack Kennedy’s dark past before it’s too late for Catherine? Will Andy finally man up and fight for what he loves? And why is Jack making an enormous candlestick in his workshop at Hill Top Farm?

The final book in the Rub-a-Dub-Dub Trilogy, this hilarious dark British comedy will make you want to count your calories very carefully indeed.

The Kindle Unlimited graphic,
Available on Kindle Unlimited

The Rub a Dub Dub eBox Set

“Laugh out loud funny – British comedy at its best!” – by Amazon Customer

This hilarious e-Box Set contains all three full length novels in the Rub-a-Dub-Dub trilogy — The ButcherThe Baker, and finally, The Candlestick Maker.

Full of dark humour (spelt with an extra ‘u’), some odd but very likeable characters, and occasional gory bits, this is satire for today. The trilogy is the perfect companion on a long flight, a beach somewhere warm, or when you just need to kick back, relax, and laugh for a little while.

Over 1,000 pages of humour that will put you off meat, bread, and candlesticks — in that order!

The Kindle Unlimited graphic,
Available on Kindle Unlimited